This election is eating my brain

It started slowly.  I checked out the threads on Kos' main page.  Then I got myself an I.D. and started making comments of my own.  At first I ignored readers' diaries.  I didn't want to become too entrenched in the site.

Then a bad--and very good--thing happened.  Kerry said something that Zackpunk had written on Kos.  Holy shit, what you write here could actually make it into the Presidential campaign.  Kerry might be reading Kos himself.  This was the worst thing that could have happened to me.  It made Kos potentially world-changing, the epicenter of the left, not just a place where people come and talk politics.  

Soon I was reading new diaries one after another.  I built up a diary watchlist.  I found myself refreshing the page to see if a new diary came up.  I'm sorry if this is hard on the server.  This site has made a junkie out of me.  Now I'm a full-blown addict, I can't quit reading the stuff here.  It's very comforting to read the diaries of hundreds upon hundreds of people who think in a similar way.  I get a little jolt of pride every time someone's given me a good mojo rating or someone comments on something I've written.

(more self-obsession...)

I am very glad the debates are over.  These debates have been very hard on my system.  The fate of the future is at stake, millions of people will be affected, there can be an end to a rabid kind of violence.  So much was riding on these debates, it's completely incredible that Kerry was so composed.  For Kerry, it's not just the world at stake, but the rest of his life.  I was pacing in front of the television and he was up there talking with conviction and control.

I feel I can relax now.  I'm not talking about complacency or being less vigilant.  Actually it can help Kerry if people are confident about his chances rather than being apocalyptic about a Bush second term.  At debate #3 I think Kerry crossed over into being an adequate alternative for a lot of people to someone you can believe in.  The rest of this campaign should be as much about hope as Bush-must-go.  Bush is already fading.  In the debates, he was a ghost of his former charm.  Kerry elevated himself.  After the last debate, I am confident that Kerry's going to win.  There are a lot of wild cards that don't make it into the polls: cell phone users, college students, women, minorities, anecdotal evidence of Republicans changing parties, the anti-Bush vote is like a religion matching the Evangelicals, 86% of undecideds usually break for the challenger...

So I don't need to come to Kos as much to tell Kerry everything he needs to say.  I have the faith that he knows what he's doing--in this campaign and for the country.  I'm telling this to myself--something has got to stop me from coming here so often.  It's just way too satisfying.